I've got soul but I'm not a soldier.

Hooooooly boop. It's been two weeks and I've forgotten many of the intricate details about my time here in Winnipeg. Also, I find writing down what I did daily has become fairly boring; I'll try to write down more of my ridiculous thoughts as they pop into my tiny mind as opposed to mundane daily events. Having said that, brushing my teeth this morning was frightfully exciting!

For the most part my time has been spent doing the usual mixture of meeting people, talking with them and learning from them. In the same way I loved Thunder Bay because of the people I met, so too have I loved Winnipeg because everyone has been so amazing. Both sets of hosts have been more than welcoming - I've felt so at home here, which is why it's so hard to leave. Let me just add before you read any further that I'm not a bad person. Promise!

 Last Sunday (9th) I sat around doing nothing much. Skyping, banking and watching a film. Nobody was home. Essentially I recovered from my ordeal the day before and sorted myself out.

On Monday we went to IKEA. That's right. IKEA. Just some oak, some pine and a handful of Norse men. It was a lot of fun because I got to chat to Marilyn and Thor about all sorts. I've really enjoyed discussing a variety of subjects with both of them and hearing about their lives. Thor seems to have a story for everything, and has done a fair bit of travelling in his life. I certainly feel like a more open minded person having spent time with them. Slightly less cynical. Just slightly.

Tuesday saw me heading out for a walk around the area. I went to Safeway to replace my toothbrush which had fallen on the floor. I figured one of life's necessities is a clean toothbrush that isn't covered in crud and oomska. I've spent very little, comparatively, since leaving Toronto so I allowed myself a treat.This was the first day I really experienced the start of the cold weather. It was only -6 or thereabouts but it took just 15 minutes outside before I turned tail and headed straight back inside.That evening we played Scrabble and taboo. I, of course, won both games. It's hard to be one of life's winners but I guess these positions need to be filled by someone. Hah. I would love for someone who didn't know me to read this one day - they'd think I'm such a conceited wanker. Which I'm not! Promise!

Wednesday was thrift shopping day. Huge charity shops full of weirdos and tons of stuff to look at. Like a loony bin with the odd diamond in the rough to pick up for a bargain. Smells like old people. I got a brand new hardback comic of Scott pilgrim vs.the world. Did hope to pick up an awesome coat but I couldn't find the type I wanted. It's all a game of chance in these places. 

The next day I took a bus downtown and checked out the shops. I walked around one block, then another, and continued until I found a mall. I ended up making a game of the skywalks. Since it's cold as balls here, they build their shopping centres into the basements of buildings or connect them with skywalks. I walked for as long as I possibly could staying inside the whole time. I managed to walk for half an hour until Marilyn messaged me explaining we were going for lunch with her friend Sam. Luckily I was in a noteworthy convention centre and was able to get a lift with them. Sam was from India and studying international business here. It was very interesting to hear about the cultural differences between us in the west and north India. Class is still very much recognised in daily life there and society in general sounds very different. He was great company. That evening I showed Marilyn and Thor 'Alan Partridge - Alpha Papa'. I think they liked it... they laughed so I'm guessing they can't have hated it.

On Friday I went to the forks to look around with Thor, Keira and Echo (Marilyn's daughters) and Meredith (a fellow surfer). It's a newish development right where the two rivers meet. There are craft shops, fresh food stuffs and other random shops inside a collection of buildings. We checked out an antique shop and some other shops before heading on home.

Swedish night was held that evening at Marilyn's and consisted of watching a film titled 'sweaty beards'. There were about 12-14 people there who are of Swedish descent. Plus Robin who was a German guy? Bit odd that. Everyone I met that night was really lovely, and I even gave my email to a lady named Laurel who's sister lives in Vancouver. She was very enthusiastic about couch surfing and said she'd pass my details on. No contact as of yet... early days.

I had such a wonderful time with Marilyn and her family. They were all such nice people it was difficult to leave. I feel as though I will keep overstaying my welcome if I stay with one host for too long just like Thunder Bay. This experience was far more enjoyable than Thunder Bay simply because it was my hosts who were so fantastic, not just their friends!

Saturday was the big move as I was going to Jon, Dale and Christa's. Meredith was also leaving Marilyn's that day so she very kindly agreed to drive me to their place. Unfortunately, the roads were being prepared for the Christmas parade, so we had a bit of an ordeal attempting to get to the right part of the street. Fuck you Santa. It's not even December yet! When we did finally get to our destination, Meredith needed to use the bathroom so we both headed up to the door. Locked! Christa told me it was unlocked! Meredith, the intrepid explorer, went round the back and to see if there was a door there. Christa let me in a while later and I began yelling to let Meredith know we could get in, to which Christa quickly replied 'she's already inside'. Sure enough, when I get upstairs, there is Meredith appearing from the bathroom. Decisive action seems to be the way to go these days if you want to get anything done! She was such a character. Meredith left shortly after and we all introduced ourselves. I believe we played some games that evening but I can't be sure. These guys are amazingly kind people who enjoy a good board game. I've learnt at least 7 new games whilst I've been here and there are probably more I've forgotten. There's a certain perception around board games as being nerdy, but I'd happily take an evening with these guys, or any other wonderful group of people, playing board games over going out to a club. Which is handy, since we spent a good few nights this week doing exactly that. I genuinely feel as though I've changed in the short amount of time spent around these three wonderful human beings. Anyway, let me continue with my boring tale before I start to write a poetry book about Jon, Dale and Christa in my blog.

There was another couch surfer who I met slightly later on staying here. His name was Brendan. He had travelled from Nova Scotia to Winnipeg in search of work. His initial plan was to head to Edmonton, but a chance encounter led to him applying through the union for a job here. He got it. Now he was apartment hunting. On Sunday we hung out and walked around the area a bit, checking out shops and such. Later on he found out that the apartment he had set his hopes on was no longer available, so he started checking for more. He called a lady and set up a viewing that very evening. He asked if I wanted to come along and I agreed - thus begins my considering the possibilities of just becoming a yes man through and through. We spent what must have been the better part of an hour trying to find this place on the outskirts of the city. It was farm land and country lanes. When we finally got there Brendan said, 'well I'm going to need a truck if I'm going to stay here'. As we pulled into the drive there was a truck in the drive, and Brendan said jokingly that he'd buy that one. We knocked on the door and his lovely soon-to-be landlady Lou showed us around. One of her sons was an artist as was she, so the place was filled with loads of original pieces of interesting art. Brendan's bachelor pad was incredible. The bathroom alone sold it. Jacuzzi tub, separate shower and marble decor. The bed was a sofa bed but could easily be replaced. The mattress was fine on it anyway. Lou asked if I thought it was good enough, to which I hastily replied 'oh nonononono I won't be using it!' I think I just give off a very gay vibe.

Brendan handed over a down payment there and then. Our last exchange was about how he would need a truck to commute. Sure enough Lou offers to sell him the one out front! He has got to be one of the most fortuitous people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. We grabbed Tim Hortons on the drive and then raced back to tell the others of our semi-adventure.

The following week was very enjoyable. Besides Monday, where I relaxed on the sofa watching boondock saints, Christa and I went out every day to do something different. In the evening of Monday we played some games and visited Christa's friends for a bit. On Tuesday we walked around checking out all the second hand bookstores nearby. That evening we went to a new board game cafe with a load of Dale, Christa and Jon's friends. It was very enjoyable and we played some great games. The girl sitting next to me did cause the 'bastard within me' to rise to the surface... but as I have said - I'm a changed man! Besides a slight roll of the eyes I did nothing. She began by saying we should look at the boxes of all the games and count the amount of females on them compared to men (and then tally up breast sizes). Brendan said, 'well it is a very sexual world we live in'. She responded with this gem,

'You say sexual, I say sexist'.

What a knobhead. We're all here to enjoy ourselves playing some games and chat. I really don't need you spouting your over the top equal rights crap in my ear. Go and look at all the board game boxes if you want. Better yet, tally up how many men there are on the boxes with huge muscles and chiselled jaw lines. Then we can pair all the ludicrously overtly sexual fictional characters off with each other, and the ugly ones can debate whether or not sexism is as big a problem as you think it is. I'll be at home not talking to you. Bore off.

Ahem...

The next day Christa and I walked around osbourne village. Which is just a street with a few 'hipster' shops on it. We returned to a shop I'd been in with Brendan to check out some nice shoes I'd seen and wanted to buy. No shoes?! They'd been stolen the DAY before. Just my luck. I really do need to shake this feeling that the world is conspiring against me though. It's becoming a problem.

We checked out the Manitoba legislature building (just a posh government building with hermetic masonry involved. No biggie.) I only had my crappy Canada phone with me so the photos are potato quality. Later that evening Christa went dumpster diving. Literally rooting around in garbage for products that are still OK but larger companies have tossed. An interesting pastime. Say what you like though, dumpster garlic and herb philly is delicious.

On Thursday we went to the Manitoba museum, just to explore the man and nature exhibits. It was interesting and a good way to pass the time.

Friday was an eventful day. Mmm yes. And such a polarity between events. We walked around some shops to get stuff for Christa and check out some more book stores. I made Banoffee pie. That evening we were going to a party for a guy's birthday. We hung out playing games and drinking beforehand then walked round to the bar/pub called cousins. We hung out and met some cool new people. I even made it onto Canadian Instagram... Brilliant. After cousins had emptied we walked round to a party being held for the birthday of someone else Dale knew. He is part of a band named royal canoe. They seem to be mildly famous around these parts, having had some radio play time. I spoke to a couple of guys from the band and they seemed really down to earth and humble. For a while I felt a bit awkward, roaming around between smoking and watching Dale play drunken ping pong. After a while I saw two girls standing chatting, one for whom I'd spoken to briefly earlier with Brendan near the record player. The other I had noticed earlier because she was so fit. Dale happened to be in the vicinity so I grabbed him and dragged him over as my in. "Hey this is Dale - he's the one who has all the awesome records!" Bam. Just like that I'm in. He wandered off but I kept chatting to them for a while. We got a drink, continued talking and so on. It got later and later, and I was left with the gorgeous girl to continue talking. At this point we were both fairly drunk... so I forget what we discussed in general. I think I accused her of being conceited at one point, as I'd told her she was beautiful and she agreed. We ended up getting a cab back to her place. Which turned out to be her parents place. She was 28 and had a kid. Who was upstairs. I knew some of this information earlier. Some. Not all. I am so terribly ashamed of myself San Diego. I'm not sure half assed anchorman quotes will even cut it here. The problem is, I'm sat here and all I can think about is how I forget to ask for her number. I think what actually happened in my tiny drunken mind was I figured I was leaving in two days and there would be no point in getting it, but it's genuinely eating me up. Admittedly, if I cared enough, I could walk to her house and politely ask for it... but I'm not sure that would be particularly well received. Either way, this is one of those times in life where it's hard not to regret a decision I've made. What's truly disgusting though; what will float around in my mindtank for days to come is the truth about why I really wanted to get some form of contact information. I know getting it wouldn't have led anywhere for a multitude of reasons, but, plain and simple, I wanted to have proof I'd slept with someone so incredibly good looking. Logical sense and reason is overshadowed by insanity. Thoughts like, 'perhaps she'd want to go on a date,' or, 'she'd be happy to see me turn up,' are beginning to piss me off as they are so friggin nonsensical. I hope that my honest disgust at myself will deflect some of your own hatred towards me. The act of simply writing it all down in itself has been relatively cathartic. I guess. The Killers 'all these things I've done' played whilst I was writing all of that out and it was eerily resonating with the subject matter.

On Saturday I was unable to wake up, possibly because I only got in at 6:30. I missed out on a Mennonite mens breakfast with Dale and Jon which annoyed me. I wanted to go badly but, on reflection, I cannot physically function on half an hour of sleep. I hung out with Christa, Dale and Jon going shopping and such until the evening when we went to Josiah's choir show. He is Christa's boyfriend. It was magnificent. Truly amazing. The choir was fantastic and sang some terrific songs. Although I have a short attention span concerning music, I concentrated very hard on not allowing my mind wander onto other ridiculous subjects. I'm pretty sure there was something that I'd thought of worth typing here, but apparently not since I can't think it anymore. I guess that's just a positive for Josiah's choir and not a negative for my stupid brain. 

So finally we reach where I am now. Yesterday I went for dinner at Marilyn's because she messaged me asking how I was getting on. We texted a while and arranged one last get together. It was lovely to see them again before I left. I had to get Jon to pick me up, as I said I'd take the bus, however when I got to Safeway to get some change it was closed. I felt terrible asking but it was either that or freeze to death walking home.

I've written everything up now and will be hopping on a bus to Calgary tonight. Hopefully I keep better track of my thoughts as I travel, otherwise there is little point in continuing this damned blog. 

Don't kill me? I ain't gunna kill ya, I need a sprinkle you onion.

I had to write this all down as I would end up waiting for more exciting things to happen and forget bits.

On Saturday I was resigned to leaving whether or not I had to pay for greyhound. I'd had some good times with Corey & co. but I needed to move on and away. The Friday night was great fun and just highlighted the dichotomy of my stay there. Not feeling comfortable anymore at the apartment because of Mariah whilst enjoying my time with Corey, Svetlana and Mike. We went to Mike's sister's house for a 'potluck'. Everyone brings a dish for dinner - simple. The people there were nice and talkative. Felt a bit awkward at times but just powered on through. Got talking to a nice, attractive girl whose name was Rose. She said she was leaving on Monday and could give me a lift to Winnipeg (so I always had a backup). Rose had also explained, along with Mike's sister, that I could have stayed there. Heartbreaking to only hear now as I was leaving that I could have potentially stayed two other places that week! Rose left fairly early, which was a damn shame. Corey later told me she had a moustache. I'd still have gone there.

Svetlana and Corey wanted to go to a different party and I followed, not wanting to repeat the mistake I made on Halloween. Corey kept telling me to just talk to people and not be so shy. Say things in my funny English accent and let the conversation flow. When we arrived we talked to a few people and I did my best. A very young looking Canadian girl was pretty intense. Up close and giving it the best English accent she could. Corey kept trying to egg me on but she just looked too young, even though he assured me she was OK. I had a good time and chatted to a guy I got a cig from. He didn't know anyone and had been dragged there by his girlfriend. I figured I was doing better than him and it was cold as balls outside, so I headed back in to chat to more people. Towards the end of the night Svetlana saw me on my phone and I explained I was talking to a possible ride share to Winnipeg. He hadn't replied in a while. She said I should just hitchhike. I scoffed at the idea... but it planted a seed. We left with two girls who had a car and dropped us all off which was nice. 

So Saturday was here and the rideshare hadn't contacted me. I got all my shit together, raided the recycling for a piece of cardboard to make a sign, and headed up to the highway to see if I could catch a ride to Winnipeg. Halfway there I realised that it was far colder than I had originally judged. The wind was making me want to cry. I got my coat, wooly hat and mittens on rather than freezing to death and carried on what seemed like an endless trudge to the highway. Once I got there, I dumped my stuff a little way down the highway and stood/shuffled about holding my sign. With my thumb raised and a smile on my face I gave myself 2 hours of this hell before returning home and finding out about that free ride on Monday with moustachioed Rose. I sang to myself for a while but realised that it probably looked as though I'd gone mental to those passing by. I stopped shortly after this realisation. About an hour and a half into my mental breakdown, a guy finally pulled over and said he'd be going through Winnipeg. Success! His name was Dan and he was heading north for work. I threw my bags into the truck and we headed off on our merry way. "You don't mind the smell of weed, right?" he asks as we pull away. Hmm...

It turns out Dan is an incredibly interesting fella. He smokes weed like it's going out of fashion and throws coffee down his throat in a similar manner. The conversation was actually really interesting, albeit slightly terrifying. He regaled me with stories from the past. His boxing, his martial arts, how he'd knocked this and that guy out with one punch. His drug dealing and abusive ex-wife (she abused substances, not him).

Not once, in spite of his smoking copious amounts of marijuana, did I feel unsafe with him driving us. Which I can assume sounds surprising. Even when he sat driving with his knees whilst rolling a joint. I guess his confidence led me to feel a sense of security in his abilities. The guy was very kind and well mannered. He gave me half of his Tim Hortons sub. He even offered me some of his own personal weed. That's the thing. Despite all his weed smoking, knee driving, violence filled stories of days gone by, conspiracy theories about the world leaders and our current dependence on capitalism, he was on the whole a kind, caring family man who has clearly made some poor choices in life and allowed his emotions to control him. He was passionate. As we came into  Winnipeg and got gps, he followed it to the address I'd given. However the gps on his phone was crap and took us everywhere but our destination. He eventually started getting pissed off and pulled into a 7-eleven. I figured this was a fairly reasonable time to part company and I thanked him for everything. He even took my number and said he'd get in contact with people from a sister-company who travel between Winnipeg and Calgary. 

I phoned Marilyn, my current host, and asked what bus I could take from my current location to get to her. She came and picked me up. She's lovely. 40 something, two kids, charming Swedish boyfriend and a lovely house. It's been a wonderful stay so far. And so ends the tale of how I hitchhiked and didn't get bumraped or die in a flaming pile of twisted metal on the highway.

Should I stay or should I go? Go. Please now let me go.

I've tried typing this out so many times and each time I try it gets deleted. It's all so incredibly boring I myself got bored of typing it, so I draft it but they don't save since I lose the internet. I'll try and make it nice and interesting to read... good luck.

Having left the coffee shop in Sudbury I walked up to the lakeside trail. There was a little park/gardens area so I had a little wander around. Unfortunately it must have rained the night before, as I ended up in a very soggy patch of grass at the bottom of a slope. Like a true Englishman, I carried on through as if nothing was amiss and plopped onto the path below. With a beautiful tide mark on my shoes, I headed off along the lakeside trail towards science north. The scenery was wonderful. The sun was shining and I had as much time as I wanted to meander along beside the lake. Science North, my destination, is a science centre based in Sudbury. It was conveniently located right beside the lakeside trail so I headed in to look around. Sorry Sudbury, but it was crap. I think my expectations might have been raised due to our earlier trip to the Ontario science centre. As I write this I'm struggling to think of things I found interesting. A whale skeleton suspended from the ceiling, a butterfly room, a Mars rover-style remote controlled car, some smelly native animals and the toilets. The toilets make it onto the list because I went for my first public poop since I was 8. A remarkable achievement I think you'll all agree.

Disappointed and relieved in equal measures, I headed back into Sudbury. On the way out from the little park/gardens area, I came across a dog with nobody in sight. It was a Doberman cross. I'm not afraid of dogs, but this thing was giving me the eye and had that 'I may attack' look about it. It made its way over to me and to my relief began wagging its tail. I patted it and went on my merry way, looking around for a person as I went. The dog's owner I did not find, but my pace was matched by a guy on rollerblades who struck up conversation. He was very polite and I think a bit autistic. We chatted about the differences between American and Canadian money and other mundane things. Once we hit a downhill road he zoomed off. 

I took the bus to the cinema and watched Fury. The comfortable chairs and excitement of watching this film really distracted me from the reality that I had gone to the cinema alone. And these chairs were fucking comfy. Plus the screen was huge. The film disappointed me somewhat but it wasn't terrible. Dave very kindly picked me up from the cinema and took me with him to an appointment, where I sat in the waiting room chatting to the lovely receptionist about my travels. Afterwards we went home to get some sleep, as I needed to be at the coach station by 7:15. Dave once again provided me with a lift to the bus terminal in the morning, without which I would have certainly missed my coach. Another great couchsurfing host.

The coach was a complete shitheap compared to the one I took from Toronto to Sudbury. No wifi & no chargers, so I was stuck alternating between sleep, reading my book and listening to music. The scenery was lovely, but trees and lakes can only interest anyone for so long. Also when the drivers switched, the new guy was a complete dickhead. He had an argument with one of the passengers up front and wouldn't let me do a wee at one of the stops. I had to wait til the next one; I may have done a poo at the science north but there's no way I'm using a coach toilet... for anything. Speaking of which, luckily everyone either had earphones in or was asleep, as I'm fairly sure I farted loud enough to wake myself up at one point.

So I arrive in Thunder Bay on Friday evening. It's so late I have to take a cab to Shandelle's apartment. She wants to go out with her friend so when I get there, we chat for a while and then they're off. I go to bed.

Saturday morning and Shandelle is at work, but her room mate Mariah is home. We chat for a while. She doesn't really seem very talkative... but she does have massive boobies. When Shandelle gets back she has her friend Corey with her. We all go out to grab some late breakfast downtown. This is a Saturday afternoon around 2pm and nothing is open. I don't just mean for breakfast, I mean nothing is open at all. We ended up in a hotel restaurant for food. Luckily the waitress was chatty and we got good service. The food wasn't great... but it seemed as though they catered mainly to pensioners. It smelt like old people in there. Corey and I have similar humour so we had a good laugh. We went out that evening and played pool. I told Mariah to come meet us at the bar and she said she'd meet me back at the apartment. Back we go, only to chat for 10 minutes and then head off to bed. How disappointing!

Sunday I went and played discgolf with Corey and his friend Mike who also seemed like a really decent guy. Discgolf is awesome; it's a cross between golf and frisbee. Very fun. I've already looked up courses in England. We went back to his and chilled for a bit before heading out to a different bar to play more pool.

Monday was a wasted day of watching parks and recs. In the evening Shandelle came back and played with photobooth on my iPad... the most eventful part of the day.

On Tuesday I walked around the downtown area to see if there was anything I had missed. There wasn't. I did manage to sample the Finnish pancakes I had been told were good. There is a large Finnish population here in Thunder Bay, and so there are saunas and other Finnish cultural buildings.

Annie, who hosted me for two nights, walked down with her dog to meet me at Shandelle's. She was very chatty and interesting, so we talked all the way back to hers. Quirky but comfortable, her house was quite near Corey's place. We went and got food at a local pub/bar. It was good. She was very interested in people. Just talking about people she had met and all the places she'd been. We went home and to sleep.

I couldn't be trusted to stay in her house, which wasn't a problem, so I went with her to walk the dog. We picked up hot drinks and walked for ages. When we got back we headed out to a different pancake place. I had too much... which is unfortunate because later on we went for a free unicycling session. It was great fun but hard work. I was sweating balls once the hour and a half was up. I'd managed to unicycle half of the hall we were in and of course look like a massive wanker the whole time. The guys running it were incredible and showed off some impressive stunts. Annie's friend came and picked us up and came back for a glass of wine. They carved pumpkins. Annie had been in an accident after which she found farts incredibly funny. I was happy to keep her entertained for the evening.

The following day saw me head back the Shandelle's thinking we were going out. We did not. On Friday Mariah dropped me off at the intercity mall and I grabbed some stuff for a costume. Being the savvy, sharp-minded geezer that I am, I managed to get items I could use again. A Clark Kent costume comprises of a superman T-shirt under a buttoned shirt and some glasses. Aside from the glasses, I can wear those items again. We went to a girl's house before heading downtown. It was disappointing to be honest... no prospects, no fun conversations with strangers. Just loud noise and jostling people. 

On Sunday I walked into town to visit Shandelle's shop. It wasn't really a shop...  it was a room above a tattoo parlour with some clothes in it. Obviously I didn't say that whilst I was in there, but it was almost funny how crap it was. There were some girls there from her uni course who took me to the coffee shop so I could use the internet. I stayed there a while then headed home. Corey came by with Svetlana and we went to play discgolf with Mike. That evening we went back to Mike's for dinner and to watch the leafs game. Leafs win!

Monday saw me do nothing much other than playing pool at shooters again with Corey; this time Mike joined us.

Tuesday I went to the college to see where Corey works, as he told me it's easier to explain if I'm there rather than just telling me. It was a production company, manufacturing parts for contract. The machines were cool and he explained how they work. Seeing how things are made can be fairly interesting. It does pose the conundrum of how the very first production machine was created. I suppose smaller machines build bigger machines, and the smallest machines are hang crafted?

We went to the cinema to watch maze runner. 5 dollars. Less than 3 quid to watch a film... luckily, since it wasn't very good.

I'm desperate to move on now to Winnipeg. If Winnipeg and Calgary are similar in experiences to Thunder Bay then I'll go to Vancouver pretty sharpish. My dream of learning to snowboard whilst volunteering has been smashed. I spoke to a very nice man from a ski resort who explained even volunteer positions require a visa. I guess I'll just have to find something else to fill my time there. I'm just moving from wifi to wifi, hoping a rideshare comes up. I'm leaving Saturday with or without a rideshare.