#live#life#love#hipster#hashtag#irony

Tis Thursday 23rd of October. I am in Sudbury, Ontario. I am sat in a coffee shop sorting out my couchsurfing and possible ride shares to save some money. I'm beginning to realise this trip will end up costing me a fortune if I don't start saving. The coach fares are pretty reasonable but will still add up to hundreds by the end of the trip. I have contacted a guy about possibly ride sharing to Winnipeg from Thunder Bay. Hopefully it comes off as he's said he might go Sunday and I want to go Tuesday. Alternatively, he might be a serial killer and end up chopping me into lots of little chunks, freezing said chunks and using me to survive the harsh winter of 2014. More on paranoia later.

What's happened since Monday? On Tuesday Sarah began drinking at 2pm. I have decided she is a colossal cunt. Sorry to those of you offended. It's just she is a total fucking shitbag. I'm sure I sound ungrateful, as I mentioned to Dave (my current host), when I explain the tale.

So she had barely said a word all day. In fact, I don't think we've had an actual, meaningful conversation all week. And I tried. I was as cheerful and engaged as I could be... to begin with. She just didn't want to respond. So on Tuesday I just reciprocated the silence. She went in and out of her room simply to get more wine or use the bathroom. That was it. I sat on the couch watching TV and talking to Connie about the evening to come. She has a phone and nobody else does, so I was able to keep in contact about what our plans were. Joscelyn messaged me and said she was coming over. Well... sure. By the time she got to Sarah's, it was about 6 and I wanted to head to the hostel about 8/9. Joscelyn and I shared a cheeky kiss when Sarah was in her room but it was perfectly clear nothing would happen. I ate dinner with them but they kept going into Sarah's room, so I just got ready and said I was heading out. 

I asked Sarah to let me know when they were going to be back as I'd overheard them  making plans to head out. She then pipes up, asking how much I'll be giving her for staying. Groceries etc. What the actual fuck? I had previous offered 20 dollars. She asked me, 'so do you think that's fair?' I said sure but if she wanted more I could give her more. Now I was properly pissed off. I politely mentioned how I'd gone and got groceries and she hadn't asked for anything else besides the basics. Plus I'd bought drinks the other night and paid for the taxi home. She probably didn't remember belligerently stating that I could pay for it because I'd not paid for the groceries I'd used. SHE THEN PROCEEDED TO EXPLAIN HOW MUCH ACCOMMODATION WOULD HAVE COST ME FOR THE WEEK. Thunnnnnnnndercunt. If she thinks I have eaten more than I bought, fine. But I hadn't. If she thought I had not pulled my weight when we went out, fine. But I did (when Cy wasn't paying for everything). If she thought I should replace the few squeezes of shower gel I used, fine. But she didn't ask me to grab it from the shops. To offer me a place to stay and then turn around and quote me on accommodation costs for the week? Shit. Don't offer a free place to stay if you are going to begrudge me of my stay. Don't offer me a couch as a family friend and then take a huge steaming dump of bad manners all over it. Please, let me know if I'm being ungrateful. I appreciated her letting me stay but this was just the limit. Not to mention all my clothes now stink of fags. Thinking about it, during my time there I ate a box of cereal, a loaf of bread, half a pack of cheese, two apples, two portions of pasta and sauce plus some salad. I bought a carton of milk of which I used some, a new loaf of bread, a dozen eggs for her and a big bag of crisps. She ate half the crisps. Now I'll admit my grocery shop doesn't meet what I used perhaps, but 20 dollars would have covered the difference. And what else is there to pay for? Her wonderful company? Do one.

I just have one more thing to get off my chest before I continue with my tale. In fact the two are interwoven so bear with me. I got to the hostel and Shehab was waiting in the common room. Connie and Tami showed up and Juan shortly afterwards. We sung happy birthday to Connie and had cake. I had contacted Cy about good places to go but he ended up not responding after a while. Never mind, he's a busy guy. We went to a bar/club type place with karaoke. Oh good. I got the first round for Shehab as he was leaving tomorrow as well. We chatted for a while and Barry the Irishman had come along with his wife, so we were a fair crowd. Sarah phones me around 10 or 11 and asks if I have somewhere I can stay. What? Her boyfriend is staying over. What? WHAT? So not only do I not have a place to stay, but you made Joscelyn feel like she couldn't get with me by saying you like me. Even though you still considered John to be your boyfriend. Thunnnnnnnndercunnnnnnnnt (last one, promise). Juan got me a rum and coke having discussed the matter of staying with him, what a gent. Shehab got the next round and Barry got the three of us jaegerbombs. Time to karaoke! Juan, Shehab and I did that song which goes something like, 'ba da da da da da bamba'. I don't think that's the official title though. Barry did chasing cars by snow patrol. Not a bad pair of lungs. 

When the place emptied about 2ish, we headed back to the hostel and chatted for a while. We said our farewells to Shehab and he went to bed. Connie and I headed into the common room and Juan and Tami stayed in the foyer. I ended up staying with Connie. :)

Yesterday was fairly arduous. I woke up late and had to say goodbye swiftly. Goodbye kiss and cuddle then out the door and fast walk to the subway. I got to Sarah's, grabbed my stuff, dumped 40 dollars on the table and left with a courteous goodbye. I ended up making it to the coach station about an hour early. The journey was fine.  Slept for an hour or so and woke with a crick neck. I watched a ton of parks and recreations episodes and probably disturbed most people on the coach with my laughter. Love this show. Arrived on time and Dave picked me up from the terminal. He seems like a really nice guy so far. He gave me a quick driven tour of Sudbury. We then went and had gourmet pizza for dinner (see below, yes I did take a picture of my dinner,  I am that guy) and watched some extras on Netflix. I'm not sure he enjoyed it that much. Went to sleep on the comfiest thing I've slept on in weeks - a sofabed. 

Going to explore the town now. Science centre and beachfront walk. Hopefully catch 'fury' at the cinema later as well. Sorry for the rant. Ciao for now.

Go to response: laughter

What the actual fuck is happening?!

It's Friday today as I write this. God knows when I'll be able to publish it as there is still no internet in this hole. Don't get me wrong; the apartment is nice. It's just it stinks of fags and has no internet ever. There aren't any big windows to open to get some air in here. 

So what's happened since I last wrote here...

I went out with Connie the argentinian girl. We walked around the eaton centre for an long while and chatted. I bought some cologne (the cheap-ass marks and spencer's one that came free with my wash bag smelt like dad). Afterwards we went and got a burger at jack actors. What an expensive day. I don't even like her that much. She's just a nice girl to hang out with. I'm not saying the money was wasted... that would be horrible. Just stating it was expensive. I did originally organise to go see the new brad Pitt film 'fury' with her. I'd have gone on my own I want to see it so bad, but I thought why not invite company. More on that later.

Yesterday was Thursday and was absolutely mental. Probably the weirdest and best night I've had in a very very long time. In the day Sarah and I went downtown. I changed my coach ticket to Wednesday and we walked along the beach front. She's so fucking awkward. On the subway she purposely sits so I can't sit next to her. What does she think I'm going to do? I don't actually like her that much anymore, after realising she's a total nut job. She walks about 1000 miles an hour and never responds to my questions or wit. We had lunch and went home. She went and sat in her room. A while later she comes out and announces her friend is coming over and I'm welcome to join them. I said that'd be great but I wouldn't intrude if she didn't want me there. Her friend arrives and they go straight into Sarah's room for about an hour. I sat and watched parks and recs on my own. Pretty mundane and anticlimactic evening.

In comes a hurricane of insanity. Total fucking chaos. They've come out and are pouring red wine down me like it's going out of fashion. We're chatting about teaching as it turns out Sarah's friend Joscelyn is a teacher too. And she's fit as a fiddle. Sarah manages to get us round to this guy Cy's place. It's insane. Huge apartment. Loads of cool shit. Now we're on the vodka cranberries. Joscelyn is all over me like cream and jam. She's telling me how much she like me but can't do anything because Sarah said she likes me too. I just laugh hysterically like Sock from Reaper. Cy then arranges for us to go to a little bar downtown. We hang out there for a while. I continue conversing with Joscelyn and meet an actor from Montreal. He's doing a new McDonald's advert... keep your eyes peeled. What a sell-out. Cy pays for everything and is so cool about it as well. Must remember to get his number from Sarah. Edit - got his number and messaged him a lovely message. No reply. Dickhead.

When were back at Sarah's Joscelyn and I sneak a few cheeky kisses in whilst Sarah goes to the bathroom or her room. I figure she is just jealous and doesn't actually like me. If you like me why do you ignore me most of the time and act weird when you're not? It's not as if she was even giving any kind of subtle hints. What a psycho. I genuinely think if I get off with Joscelyn, Sarah will burn my stuff.

Update - it's Monday now and I got internet at the appartment finally. 

Saturday was pretty hardcore having already drunk ourselves silly on Thursday. Joscelyn came over after Sarah had gone to a wedding. We drank a nice big bottle of wine together and fooled around. Sarah kept saying she was/wasn't coming home so we were afraid to do anything. I could weep at the thought of it.

We set out to go to Joscelyn's place. She is, however, taking us to meet Sarah. Treacherous fiend! Now I don't know what to think. We've literally crashed a wedding. It's a little awkward. We end up chatting to people and it's fine. Lots of drunk people. I fork out an extortionate amount for 3 beers. We all head back to Sarah's but Joscelyn stays with Sarah and I go to sleep. Noooooooooooooooo.

Nothing happened Sunday I just moped about. Went to the shops and skyped from starbucks.

 Today I went and met up with Shehab and Juan. We got coffee (hot chocolate for me!) and chatted for a couple of hours. Then we headed back to the hostel. Connie and her sister joined us for some card games. She was in a terrible mood. We went and got subway. I think we're going out tomorrow for a farewell and happy birthday for Shehab and Connie respectively. 

I don't know whether to laugh some more or cry. Tomorrow is a new day I suppose.

So close so far

I know I updated yesterday but I'm just chilling in front of the TV and thought I'd write about today.

This morning I packed up my stuff and walked from Bens to Sarah's (stopping off at Casa Loma to wait for her). It was very muggy and I was sweating like a fat girl's thighs as she heads for the cake stand. We got here and I took a shower. You know those really unsatisfying showers when you're on holiday or it's very hot? You can't cool off after and just end up all sweaty and uncomfortable just like before? No? Just me? Fuck my life. 

We went for a walk and checked out a local shopping mall style place. They all seem to be underground in the city. 

I headed to Starbucks and Sarah headed to work. I sat for a while on whatsapp and Facebook messenger. Juan said he'd come and meet me in 10 minutes. 50 minutes later he turned up and we went to the hostel to get Shehab. Argentina 1&2 showed up too. We went and got some more drinks and took them back to the hostel where we played bullshit until 11. I'm going to invite Argentina out tomorrow. I have nothing better to do, right? This is from Friday.

I went home on the subway. Got home and counselled Sarah on her relationship. She's definitely a bit mental.

Thanksgiving

Yesterday was Sunday 12th October. Today is Monday 13th. Thanksgiving for Canadians. Everything is closed and it's a bank holiday.

Yesterday Ben went to work all day so I sat around on the iPad sending out more requests and relaxing after Friday/Saturday shenanigans. 

We went for dim sum with a couple of guys Ben knew through c.s. One was a friend of someone he had hosted and the other was that guy's colleague. Anatol and Clemence. Food was ok but I can't use chopsticks to save my life. Asked for a fork.

Afterwards we went to a place called 'Castle'. It's a coffeeshop/cafe where they have a ton of board games and you play them... obviously.

We played cards against humanity. Very amusing. 

Saboteur. Would be amazing with more than 4 people but it was ok. 

Flux. This game is the shit. Easy to play and really engaging. Definitely enjoyed that the most.

Today we went and grabbed some lunch from Korea town. Just before, we watched Scott pilgrim. This is because a majority of the film was shot in there area. I saw lots of different places which were used as film sets but I forgot my camera. 

Must make a mental note: I no longer have a sister around to take photos of stuff for me. 

We later went for dinner with a Korean guy who is travelling using couchsurfing. He had apparently been without money for the past 12 days, relying on people giving him lifts and handouts. I have to say I admired his bravery. 19 years old and travelling in a foreign country with little English. It was a bit awkward because they spoke Korean for quite a bit since, as I said, had little English. I had a very filling dumpling soup.

After dinner we headed to another board games cafe. It was good because we played games that didn't rely on much talking. Strategy and reaction based games. It was a good laugh.

Tomorrow I am leaving Ben and heading to stay with Sarah for a bit. Hope her couch is comfy!

Been texting Argentina as well so maybe I'll have something to do instead of lying around sending couchsurfing requests. 

The next guy I'm staying with looks like a real sweetheart; I can't wait to see his caravan. He mentioned something about only having one bed but I'm sure he just means he only has one SPARE bed... right?

Friday night fever

Soooo it's Saturday night now. On Thursday I spent a lot of time sending out couch surfing requests for further along in my journey. We played pool I think? I can't remember what day we played but I think it was Thursday. I can't really remember what I did Thursday.

Yesterday I left the hostel and walked (check it on a map) from widmer street in downtown Toronto all the way to 93 spadina road. When I got there I was sweating balls. I had a jumper and my big coat on because it's too fucking big to carry on top of my massive backpack and smaller pack I strap to my front. I'd managed to sweat through the jumper. Next level disgusting.

I met Ben who I'm staying with. He seems like a genuinely nice guy. His previous surfer had messaged me not to stay, as he had made sexual advances towards him. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and heard his side of the story. He tried to snuggle with him one night. I think I can handle that... if not I'll just run screaming. We went for sushi and it was pretty nice. Beef teriyaki with sushi and there's lots of little bits and pieces with it. 

Yesterday evening marked the beginning of my travelling adventures, in the sense that I had an my amazing time. I took the subway back to downtown and met up with Shehab and Juan at the hostel. We went and got a bottle of sailor Jerrys and took it back with some coca cola. The Argentinian girls and a Korean girl joined us when we were drinking, and later a Japanese guy and girl showed up too. 

We got pizza, fags and headed round the corner to a nightclub. Tenner to get in. 25 dollars spent all night. I'm drunk and fed. We were up on the platform in no time dancing badly to bad music. Stopped a guy trying to fight Shehab. Did some dancy dancy with Argentina. We all headed back to the hostel and hung out in the common room until about 4. By now it's far too late to get home as the subway stops running at 1:30. Sooooo I just stayed with Argentina. We played baseball. Only got to second... plenty more time though.

This morning I took the subway into Union and met Pam. We went to st Lawrence market and the distillery district. It's a pedestrianised area of the city which is all independent food and clothing shops. It's very small and... indy? We had a nice lunch. Mexican chorizo sandwich. Here I am suffering from the night before and my lovely lunch. 

Headed back up here to Ben's and we've just chilled this evening. Got some indian food and watch English comedy shows. 

Thanksgiving tomorrow so we'll get pizza pizza! Haha.

Edit/update: I'm fairly sure blogger is not uploading everything I write or edits I make. I remember writing certain things only for them not to be published... The plot thickens.

Leafs suck

Not what the title leads you to expect, although as I write this very sentence I form in my mind another moment from today causing it to be of great relevance.

No headache today, Wednesday, so I went on a little excursion. I can't remember what I did yesterday so it can't have been very exciting. Perhaps it never happened. Oh I went to the supermarket and bought some food. That's right, I managed to turn a trip to the supermarket into a day. My entire day was my trip to the supermarket. What a spastic I am. Admittedly, it was a fairly productive evening on the whole 'try talking to people instead of being a miserable c**t your whole life' front. (Bleeped it out for you :p.)

I was reading my book when Caroline and Stewart (the British) came in and we chatted for a good while. She's lovely. 

(As a side note, this blog is a horrible and terrible beast that will one day come back to rip my insides out. As I continue to mention more and more attractive girls from my actual life, the chance of catastrophe increases. It's not as though I'm mentioning, in passing, a famous actress or something. That's normally acceptable. But to continue to comment on all these real people? Someone is going to end up seeing this and thinking I'm a right pervert. You lot are ok, you already know me. But god forbid someone who thinks I'm normal eyes this crap.)

So we ended up all cooking our pasta dinners together. I know right, I done a cooking. It was literally just:

pasta

Tomato and basil sauce

I though 'fuck, slow down, basil?' Don't run before you can walk. 

No in all seriousness, it was actually alright. 

We went back to the room and watched ted. I fucking hate that feeling when you're watching a film and the people with you don't laugh at funny parts. It literally hurt to hold in my laughs. I had to ease them out slowly whenever they laughed, like a huge fart you're worried will blow a wall out. You let it out a parp at a time, ever slightly reducing that incredible pain in your stomach.

I got Caroline's Facebook and told them I'd be around next Friday if they're about for a drink/meal. I now have to find a way to stay around next Friday. For more context, they left this morning to go to Montreal, Ottawa, Quebec and then back to Toronto for Friday.

Finally back to today, which was my original thought train. I went for my little trip around Toronto looking for the air Canada centre to check out the leafs store. That's the hockey team. I walked for a good 3 hours today I would guess. I left around twelve, found the air Canada centre around 2 I think and didn't stop walking until I got back. I really wanted a sweater in the style of a hockey jersey... but they had none I liked. On the way back I got attacked by a leafstorm as it got windier and windier. Once home I popped out and got a subway. That doesn't count as junk food so you can all do one.

I got in and read some more of my book. I began thinking about how yet another day was wasted on inactivity based on interactivity (oh yeah), when Shehab (formerly known as ash) comes in and says he heard about some event. I had already been told by Mike about it and wandered around it earlier whilst roaming the city. The road had been closed and stalls set up. The screens and nf stage were set up in the square itself called Dundas square on the corner of Yonge and Dundas.

"They're showing the first Toronto maple leafs hockey game on big screens"  I said.

"Wanna go?"

"Sure," I reply casually. Now my philosophy so far in life has been 'sit on yer arse and it will come to you'. I really wanted to change that mindset when travelling to meet new people. Hadn't put much effort in though... my old mindset appears to be working fine though.

We headed down there and it was packed. Managed to grab free oh Henry! bar (what a name) and free scarves! I love free stuff. Free hat? Sure it looks shit, but it's free. Free. 

We got caught in a scrum of people and stood for a while until less patient people just started barging through. Everyone just started moving again and we ended up in Dundas square at quite a good spot to view the biggest screen. All I could think of was chief wiggums', "the harder you push the faster we all get out people."

We watched the maple leafs vs. Montreal canadiens on big screens. Saw a band play during one of the breaks. I think they were called the tragically hip. They were a bit country rock. Leafs lost.

We got Burger King (damn it -.- ) and went back to the hostel. I went down to the kitchen and caught Juan speaking Spanish to two Argentinian girls. We chatted for a while and eventually Juan left. I made my excuse and followed suit. Nevertheless, I have done what before had seemed like a distant dream; I interacted with people outside of my room for longer than 5 minutes.

Leafs suck. So do leaves. Goodnight.

Hostel

Have you seen the film hostel? Me neither. Apparently I don't want to.

Got here on the train yesterday. Tried to make a hyperlapse of the journey but I dropped my iPad so it didn't really work very well. Also you could see the lens in the window reflection so it was fairly poor. 

I got in and met my room mates. A spaniard named Juan, an Israeli named Omri (I think), two Brits who I've completely forgotten the names of and an Italian named Ash (I think).

I talked to Juan for a while and found out he was here to study English. He chose Canada because he wanted to reduce the chances of meeting anyone who spoke Spanish. I thought that was pretty intelligent. The Brits turned up a bit later whilst Juan was asleep. They are nice and easy to talk to. The brother has come over for two weeks and the sister is travelling to Vancouver and the west coast after he has flown home. I've not really spoken to the other two.

Sarah, who is (wait for it) mike's cousins husbands sister, came out with us for a few drinks. It was a nice enough evening. I got a headache though. The others went back to the hostel earlier whilst Sarah and I stayed out to listen to a live jazz band. She proceeded to tell me about a guy she had just started dating and showing me the texts she'd sent him. Fuck right off.

Today I woke up with a slamming headache. I managed to crawl out of bed and grab some shitty pancakes and a cup of tea. I went back to the room and lay down with my platypus water bottle draped across my head. Eventually I got hungry enough to go and grab some food. I headed over to yonge street, the longest street in the world, and just wandered along for a while looking for something that took my fancy. I ended up stopping for a pizza. On the way home I gave the last two slices to a homeless guy. I didn't really feel any better about myself but he was probably grateful. 

*Edit* Also, as I failed to mention when I first published this, the hobo who accepted my kind offer of lukewarm food was not the first I encountered. Oh no. The first was my original target standing just outside the shop. He said no thanks when I offered him two slices. Turns out beggars really can be choosers the ungrateful prick. 

Some strange lady tried giving me a little star sticker, 'for all the handsome ones'. I thought you can fuck right off, giving me that schpiel and then forcing your disease ridden sticker upon my person.

I'm now sat in the lounge type area typing this out. I'm not really sure how to engage any of the people here in conversation, so I figure I'll just browse reddit and occasionally glance around. I need a poo as well. God help me. There was a smoking hot German girl here a while ago but she left with her friend. I think I love her. 

The most depressing place on earth - guess before reading?

Im not writing what day it is anymore because I can't remember.

Yesterday we went to the Toronto zoo. Zoos by their very nature should be educational and beneficial for sustaining dwindling wildlife populations. I get that. But the sad truth is these places are so miserable when you stand and watch these poor animals pacing up and down. Tigers, lynx, grizzly bears and other animals just gazing off beyond their enclosures whilst they trudge along the perimeter. An otter which has clearly gone mad. Lethargic cheetahs and polar bears lying so still I'd be surprised if they weren't drugged. Some arsehole goading the animals trying to get them to move/perform. This place was soul destroying. Cool to see certain animals in the flesh, but not at this cost. Perhaps my face belies my true feelings.

We went for a lovely meal at a restaurant/bistro nearby. Tasty steak.

Today we went to Montanas for a farewell lunch for mum. Delicious chorizo flatbread. This was after heading over to the farm once again to unblock the culverts as the beavers had dammed them up once again. Mike, angel and I all working hard.